I wasn’t born understanding how to connect to my own feelings. It’s a learned skill and I’ve worked hard to earn a deep and powerful toolset that fits around it. It works incredibly well, if sometimes slower and with more effort than other people expect. So when I find myself suffering in ways go on […]
How the people who care about you care about the people you care about
It doesn’t take long for the people who love you to start to care lots about the people who bring magic to your world and make you happy. It’s been a fun holiday season with lots of beautiful friends and parties and it is warm and sweet how everyone asks about him. “Is he coming […]
Telling the Truth
I just came from a party. I met some lovely people. I ate a little cake. I wanted to be at this party. I wanted to be with these people. I also felt strange and sad today and like I could probably ruin any good party just by showing up. There were balloons. There were […]
Quarterly performance review went like this
“I don’t want to waste your time. It was just a fucking masterpiece. End of review.” BOOM. Next.
When there’s no work to do
It’s hard to know what to do when the work is done. It’s a deep enough mystery that even the Tao is cryptic about it (work when it is time and then stop, or something super helpful like that). But what do you do when there aren’t more questions, more problems, more wants, more anything […]
Forged by fire – flu edition
A day of psychedelic fever, a night of cold sweats, a day of peace, a night of explosive diarrhea, a transformation of green ass goo reappearing as green lung goo. This morning I woke up with the bed soaked again and all the windows fogged. The sheets still haven’t been washed. I feel like a […]
Stop sending me porn
It isn’t conversation. It isn’t erotic. It doesn’t make me want to do those things to you. It just makes the whole situation instantly mundane. Stop sending me porn. It’s boring.
Misery is wasted on the miserable
It’s all so fucking gloriously delicious. And every bad decision, every bit of ill-advised cliff diving is better than the last. I want more. Give me more.
Forged by fire – 2 kinds of anger, 2 kinds of pain
I woke up yesterday in a crazy fever. Officially queued up to be the most fun-packed weekend of the holiday season, I had to cancel everything while I dove into a painful, soaking wet alternate state for about 8 hours. I don’t remember a lot of it. I remember ungodly pain everywhere. I remember going […]
I like to evaluate life in the fall
…because once in progress, a life requires destruction to make room for new creation. Creativity doesn’t start in the spring, with new growth, fresh and optimistic. It starts in the fall, holding onto only what can survive the winter, letting everything else wither, die, and be cleared away then resting and healing through the cold […]