Handing your troubles over to a psychologist or psychiatrist is a dangerous way to deceive yourself and very likely get you more effed up, or at best, stalled out at a level of good enough. The smarter you are, the more dangerous it is. Here’s why. Talk therapy relies on the weakest and most recently […]
You aren’t getting my fucking lemon zester
Today I had two conversations with people who are in the process of separating assets with a partner. Both live in places with 50/50 laws around these things. That law means that you call the time of the death on the partnership, tally up the assets at that moment and either negotiate trades or liquify […]
A different kind of complete
“I am going to pray for you,” she said, with a sparkle in her eye. “I’m going to pray to the Buddha that a nice man comes along and loves you and brings goodness and companionship to your life.” It was hard to hear. “That’s so lovely of you. But truly, my life is so […]
Not just a number
She left work months ago to rest after a return of her breast cancer. She went to Singapore to spend time with family and friends and she prayed and prayed to the Buddha. “If I still have value here, please let me stay. If I am just a waste of resources, then I will go. […]
Double date
Not the fun kind with jumbo tubs of popcorn and Cards Against Humanity. I mean when you go on a date and ten minutes into it realize you’ve already been on this date with this person. And he lied to get laid and then disappeared. I knew his face. “You’re very familiar,” says me. We […]
Every post I write makes me almost throw up
It’s how I know whether it is true or not. I can sit here and comfortably write bullshit for hours and feel fine. But when I finally get to the truth, it gets birthed quickly and with physical discomfort. Every single one of these posts, no matter the flavor, has come out fast and turned […]
The loyalty of leaving
When I was younger, I felt deeply and strongly that if you love someone, you never leave them. You stick by them, you help them, you accept them, you do anything for them, you give them anything you have. I now believe with even more fervent depth and strength that there is a higher love […]
The spiral of grief
“For in grief nothing ‘stays put’. One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it? …how often will the vast emptiness astonish me […]
Your new strategic morning routine: A piping hot mug of fuck it
Let’s stop getting all catywhompus about the profound importance of mornings. You have one thing you need to do in this life. Just one. Are you ready? Here it is: Your only fucking job in this life is to manifest you, as only you can, exactly how you are, in the most genuine and courageous […]
Love is a giver
I used to only know entanglement and I thought it was love. There was love in there, for certain. Sometimes lots. But it was a love I felt owed me things, heavy with expectations. It was love designed for getting from. This is different. The love doesn’t change when he’s gone. I still feel […]