I wasn’t born understanding how to connect to my own feelings. It’s a learned skill and I’ve worked hard to earn a deep and powerful toolset that fits around it. It works incredibly well, if sometimes slower and with more effort than other people expect. So when I find myself suffering in ways go on […]
Category: Heartbreak and grief
How the people who care about you care about the people you care about
It doesn’t take long for the people who love you to start to care lots about the people who bring magic to your world and make you happy. It’s been a fun holiday season with lots of beautiful friends and parties and it is warm and sweet how everyone asks about him. “Is he coming […]
When there’s no work to do
It’s hard to know what to do when the work is done. It’s a deep enough mystery that even the Tao is cryptic about it (work when it is time and then stop, or something super helpful like that). But what do you do when there aren’t more questions, more problems, more wants, more anything […]
Misery is wasted on the miserable
It’s all so fucking gloriously delicious. And every bad decision, every bit of ill-advised cliff diving is better than the last. I want more. Give me more.
Forged by fire – 2 kinds of anger, 2 kinds of pain
I woke up yesterday in a crazy fever. Officially queued up to be the most fun-packed weekend of the holiday season, I had to cancel everything while I dove into a painful, soaking wet alternate state for about 8 hours. I don’t remember a lot of it. I remember ungodly pain everywhere. I remember going […]
Saudade
Saudade is all about missing. In Portuguese, saudade describes a nostalgic longing for something lost or missing, but it includes a paradoxical happiness for having had that thing one longs for, and a splash of hope that it will be either found or the empty place left by it will otherwise somehow be filled again. […]