Rebecca Solnit, in her brilliantly beautiful book, A Field Guide to Getting Lost, muses around “the blue of distance”—the way the shorter wavelengths of blue light scatter on the edges of the horizon, in water, in the sky, giving whatever is far away a dreamy and melancholic blue haze. She recalls gazing back from Mt […]
Category: Dating
Three
I chose three for 3 reasons: community, personal space, and intimacy. Loving as three people presented an opportunity to correct some of the pains of loving as two – the control, the expectations – and add layers of richness as it did. I felt like a relationship with three people had potential to be exponentially […]
Don’t take advice from crackpots on the internet
This is my standing disclaimer for any stupid shit I advocate for on this site. Be smart. Listen to yourself and people you trust to help you make good choices. Don’t take advice from crackpots like me on the internet unless you’ve really considered and vetted your moves. That’s all.
Double date
Not the fun kind with jumbo tubs of popcorn and Cards Against Humanity. I mean when you go on a date and ten minutes into it realize you’ve already been on this date with this person. And he lied to get laid and then disappeared. I knew his face. “You’re very familiar,” says me. We […]
I don’t think of me as single
Let’s agree to use the word “god” as a shorthand. I don’t mean it as a shorthand for the ever-fashionably non-committal “whatever god you want to believe in”. Not at all. I mean it specifically as a shorthand for “Kathryn’s somewhat bizarre and magical experience of a high reality which works awesomely and she doesn’t […]
A 25 year scavenger hunt for love, through a forest of sex and acceptance
I lost count of my partners when my numbers passed my age in my early 20’s. After 3 cancelled engagements by age 22 and sincere, heartfelt efforts at trying to be a good mate, it was clear I didn’t have the chips to play the poker game of love, with myself or with another person. […]
Stop sending me porn
It isn’t conversation. It isn’t erotic. It doesn’t make me want to do those things to you. It just makes the whole situation instantly mundane. Stop sending me porn. It’s boring.
Online Dating Rule #1: Reject Early, Reject Often
Some of my best education for life came from massage school, and one of the stand-out lessons was to listen to the little voice in your head, even when it makes no sense. Some dude you’ve never met calls your massage practice on the phone and wants to schedule a massage. 98 times out of […]
Online dating is your ticket to enduring love and fulfillment. You are just doing it wrong.
Let’s start by validating the second half, because that’ll be quick. You are doing it wrong.
Do you have enduring love and fulfillment?
IF YES: Then you are related to me and just reading this article to be supportive. Thank you and I love you.
Heart heart heart
You deserve love. Stop messing it up.
IF NO: Well then it seems clear that you aren’t doing a very good job of finding enduring love and fulfillment on Tinder, Christian Mingle, Adult Friendfinder. FarmerLove, or whatever. Since you don’t have it and whatnot.
I am going to give you three brilliant and compelling reasons that online dating is your ticket to enduring love and fulfillment, and then I’m going to tell you how to do it right in seven easy steps. And then you can just send me money and fruitcake. But not the shitty kind. The good kind.
Here we go.