Not the fun kind with jumbo tubs of popcorn and Cards Against Humanity.  I mean when you go on a date and ten minutes into it realize you’ve already been on this date with this person.  And he lied to get laid and then disappeared.

I knew his face.  “You’re very familiar,” says me.  We talk through hobbies and work industries – do we know each other from regular life (we both silently hope)?  No connection.  Tentatively “Did we already go out?”  Neither of us knows.

We carry on with the small talk.

Then after some time, he remembers, “We went out in Wallingford years ago.”  Me, “I haven’t been here that long.  It couldn’t have been.  Just over 2 years.”  Him, “Two years ago.  Something about a vending machine.”

Me, “YOU.”  Both (silently), “oh shit.”

This date had come with a lot of disclaimers.  Just a couple games of cards since we both wanted to get out for a minute and had nothing else to do.  No romantic intent – I wasn’t up for it.  Some conversation, some company, no big deal.  Don’t expect anything.  I’m not much in the mood for that dance.  Ok.  Cards sounds good.  Just easy.

Me, “That was a fun night.  I wondered what happened to you.  I liked you.  We met that nice couple.  She and I are still friends.  For a long time she asked if I had ever heard from you again.  We got a set of jacks out of the vending machine.  Do you have them?”

Him, “Oh yeah – That couple was really nice.  We played Jenga.  We joked about throwing a party where we steal people’s stuff and then stick it in the vending machine and make them buy it back.  ‘Where’s my left shoe?  I don’t know, but there’s one like it in the vending machine.  B14 for $1.50.’  I liked you too.”

Me, “You ghosted me.  We talked about it ahead of time.  I didn’t have any expectations or needs but just asked that you didn’t disappear.  And you ghosted me. That was a pretty horrible thing to do.”

Him, “It was a really bad time in life.”

Me, “I understand those.  It sucked though, being disregarded like that.  It hurt.”

Him, “The sex was really good.  Like really really good.  I have thought about it many times.”

Me, “Glad it worked for you.  I honestly don’t remember it.”

Him, “Well I’m glad one of us remembered it.”

Me, “People are fragile.  You need to treat people with care.”

Him, “I’m sorry.  If it makes you feel any better, I did that to lots of people.”

Me, “Yeah, that makes it worse.”

Him, “I just meant it wasn’t personal.”

We carried on and had a nice evening.  We played Uno.  At the end he said, “Do you think you’d like to have sex again?”  Unwelcoming, disgusted response.  “I meant ever again – with anyone.”  “Maybe.  I don’t know.”   “Well I’d like to see you again.”  I laughed out loud.  “Yes, I’ve heard you say that before.  Forgive me if I wait and see.”  “Fair enough.”

Good night, one John of many.  I bet when you decided to bullshit me, you never figured you’d find yourself having to answer for it.  Tonight’s your night, friend. Thanks for the Uno.