It doesn’t take long for the people who love you to start to care lots about the people who bring magic to your world and make you happy.  It’s been a fun holiday season with lots of beautiful friends and parties and it is warm and sweet how everyone asks about him.  “Is he coming later?  Is there hockey tonight?  Where is he?”  I’ve told the story a few times at each party.  “I just saw him at the gym, I think.  I didn’t get a chance to say hi – tell him hi!”  I haven’t talked with him in weeks.  You know more than I do.  Could you tell me how he is?  Were pieces falling off of him like they are falling off of me?  Is he different?  Was he carrying a big cardboard sign that said “Where is Kathryn???”

I love how the people who love you love the people you love.  And how they hurt with you when the people go away and have the kindness to understand and remember how lovely it was.  How they pick up the little pieces that keep falling off me and holding them lovingly saying with their eyes “I’ll hold onto these for you.  Don’t worry.”  Love is like barfing up ice cream.  It is more delicious on the way in, but it still is sweet and creamy but kind of awful on the way out.  But still sweet and creamy.  Just with a little more awful.  Merry Christmas, as I put on the stilettos again tonight, right now, tired, not for the last time yet.  But tonight I’m going to leave the red and the green and the sparkles and the gold and just wear black.  Because being together is still fun when you can just let things be what they are and love what each other loves.  Also there will be shrimp skewers and those fuckers are delicious.  Call the Uber.